By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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