so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
