wakey wakey hands off snakey
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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