My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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