All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
