he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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