it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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