Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
