we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
