Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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