I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
