I didn't shave. On purpose
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
as a side note pls kill me
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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