it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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