Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
