I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
