Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
