kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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