no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
