I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
