the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I am mentally ready for anal.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
