Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
