someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
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I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
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I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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