I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
