Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
