You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
