Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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