Barsexuality is the new black.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
