it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
