ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
