I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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