I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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