K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i think i have herpe
just one?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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