The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
