that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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