I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
