I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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