I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
