what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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