that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
