I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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