I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
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I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
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Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize