you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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