The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
