Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you win again, gameday.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
