Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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