Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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