I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
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That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
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I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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