Rock
Scissors
Fuck
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
