guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
