You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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