u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
