Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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