got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
