They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
