Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
