I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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