This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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