Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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