So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
